Well, I finally broke down this evening.
I was doing so good keeping it all together! (or so I thought...)
I've spent the last 10 days pretty much how many other American homemakers spent theirs: taking stock of my supplies, running out for provisions, growing more and more concerned over the lack of toilet paper, and thinking about how to navigate a new normal. It's amazing the evolution that "normal" has taken in just 10 days. At least for me, I've gone from "Hmm...well this is new" to "Dear me, how strange" to "I'm not sure how to respond to this" to "Is this really happening?" to "Whoa. This is really happening."
Tonight I had just had it. I'd spent the week trying to keep everything just how it should be. Spinning all the plates. Dotting all the "i"s and crossing all the "t"s. I was trying to make things not different. Truth is---everything is different.
For our family, things are different in a better way. My husband's job as a computer programmer within the shipping industry is a double-whammy of secure. If our world stops needing programmers or stops needing shipping/distribution, we're gonna see a MUCH bigger issue than we have now. So having Daddy working from home and having all our busy schedules erased is probably the greatest thing that could happen to us. At least for now. We are financially secure and have an abundance of all we need. (We even found toilet paper today---score!)
However, there are so so many who are struggling on all levels, and this is where my freakout came into play today. I keep thinking of things we could be doing to be a blessing to others while still abiding by the new calls for social distancing. (Well, sort of. Right now I have four teenagers over that aren't mine...but they're here enough that they might as well be mine. AND our family already breaks the 10 or less rule anyway so...) If I wasn't so worried about trying to maintain normal in my home, we could be taking time off to write letters to people we know who don't have a gaggle of housemates to share this time with. I could be writing encouraging devotionals or sharing information on my blog to help others become less dependent on this fast-paced, drive-thru satisfaction sort of world that's come to a halt. Not to mention all the things we could be doing around the house like decluttering and listing things for sale online to the whole world who have suddenly become online shoppers by default. Most of all, I would have time to look outside my happy cottage in the forest and respond to a hurting world. God is allowing things to be different right now. I want to find out why.
I've spent the last 10 days fighting so hard for normal and it's really a losing battle. The world is different now. For me, this time is a gift and a ministry opportunity. For others, this time is scary and heartbreaking and chaotic. Life looks different now. It may be for a short time---it may be the new normal. Enough has already changed for some that life will never look the same. No matter how long it lasts, I don't want to be afraid to embrace the different and see what God will do in this time. Maybe He's writing a new normal for me that will be better than anything I could ever imagine.
What is your biggest concern right now? I'd love to remember you in prayer if you'd like to comment below.
Blessings!
Sarah
No comments:
Post a Comment